I’m calling on all the Hudson Valley Parent readers to help in this my intervention. Yes, only a control freak like me plans her own intervention. You see, I have a very real phenomenon known as baby fever. It’s very difficult for me to deal with this “condition” because being the control freak as I just mentioned before, I just can’t make it go away. It’s been on my mind so much that I’m even going to ask for your comments and advice in this “blogger-vention” to help me with my research on baby fever for an upcoming article I’ll be working on.
Ok, so it’s not like I don’t vividly remember pregnancy or having an infant. My son just recently turned 3 and thanks to his stubborn refusal to “go” on the potty I’m still changing diapers. I have a 5-year-old daughter so having both a boy and a girl means that this baby fever was not caused by my desire to have a child of the opposite gender than what I already have. I don’t pretend hovering over the toilet for 9 months was fun and no I don’t think my stretch marks are so sexy that I can’t wait to add more to the bunch. So what is causing this?
It could be one of several things. It started in the first month I became a stay-at-home mom. The idea sort of popped into the back of my mind one day like, “Hey Erin wouldn’t it be cool to have another child and actually not have to juggle child care and work outside the home (I phrase it this way because I wholeheartedly believe that all moms are working moms). I mentioned it to my mom one day at lunch and she seemed excited at the prospect of another grand baby. If you had asked me six months ago, I was completely unwaveringly ready to retire the old uterus here. I was caring for 3 babies along with my own kids when I was running my daycare with a friend of mine. Let me tell you, my hat is off to those of you with multiples. It was like having triplets for 6 months and it was so exhausting. Then once I stopped doing daycare and starting focusing on just my own kids it made me truly appreciate them more. I can honestly say that bringing them into the world is the best thing I ever did.
Then factor in my age – I’m 32 and although that’s not old, I realize I’m headed toward the end of my baby making days. Then there’s the obvious reason for my spike in baby fever – my mom just passed away in September. I miss her terribly and although I know there is nothing I can do to bring her back, what I want in a very selfish way is to create more love in my life. I’ve lost my mom, dad and grandmother and I feel an obvious wane in the world of people who love me. It’s selfish to the core, but isn’t that really the inherent reason we have kids in the first place – to love and be loved and to live on through the next generation? I guess I just want to have something beautiful to look forward to. There has been so much sadness and loss in both my life and the world lately and I just want to have something amazing to say, “see this is why we keep going.”
So now you know all the reasons for my symptoms, now what I need is a cure. Any ideas? I have tried my best to throw logic at it. I’ve used the money objection – having a baby will make it harder financially for my family, my two bedroom house would require some remodeling to accommodate another child, and it would prolong the number of years I’d be staying home with my kids and therefore not able to contribute financially to my household. These are all things I know with my head and if I ever forget my husband is all too quick to remind me. So since he doesn’t want any more kids, I’m calling on you Hudson Valley parents to help me. Please tell me, does this feeling go away in time? Have any of you had a baby fever baby? How did you know when you were truly “done” having kids. Did you convince your spouse to have more or was it the other way around? I truly hope to find a cure for this soon.