But I am never sure how to make a difference.

Do you describe yourself as an activist?  Where do you think you can make a difference.?

The 94-year-old Pete Seeger has made being an activist an art. I saw him perform at this year’s Clearwater Festival.

Those of us at Hudson Valley Parent attended the Clearwater Festival in Croton-on-Hudson on behalf of MyFamilyTripPlanner. It was a first time for me and, boy, was I overwhelmed.

Croton Point Park, where the festival is staged, is huge, all 508 acres of it, with campgrounds, beaches, boats, picnic areas, hiking, fishing and plus kid’s play areas. For two days a year for the past 35 years, the park is dominated by Clearwater’s Great Hudson River Revival. 20,000 people attend plus over 1,000 volunteers. 5 music stages with great talent. And as you would expect food and craft vendors galore

But at the core this festival is an activist’s haven.  All the paper and plastics in the food court had to be recyclable. I ordered a large iced coffee. It came with no top. Why? Because the tops that came with this cup did not meet the Clearwater’s recycling standards.

My staff bought some crafts made by women from Nigeria. The vendor comes here for short periods of time to sell the crafts before she returns home. All the money supports a woman’s collective and the money also helps send their children to school.

And the music. I must admit I didn’t know many of the performers, but  Buffy Sainte-Marie had the audience standing as she sang about her Indian heritage. Most singers belted their messages through song.  Around 3pm on Sunday, one dad visited our booth as a group performed next to us. “I think I’ve heard  ‘turn, turn, turn’ about 35 times this weekend,”  he lamented.

Besides food, music and crafts, there were the activists. Everywhere I went I met people carrying signs. They stopped me to ask if I would sign their petitions:  GE and the PCB clean-up. Nuclear plant in Buchanan.  Going solar at home.

Eventually I found the section of the festival called ACTIVITISTS” Don’t Move Firewood”,  “May Peace Prevail on Earth”, “Moms Demand Action”, “Save Our Schools”, “Combat Paper NJ”,  “NY for Women’s Equality”…those are just my first  five cards. I have 25 cards in all.

In the coming days I will write about some of the groups I met. If they of interest to you, you can follow up.  I am also going to decide what means the most to me and see where I think I can make a difference.

A recent story in the Times Herald Record print edition (I couldn’t find it online) said that “Seven months after Superstorm Sandy, the Red Cross still hasn’t spent more than one-third of the $303 million it raised to assist victims of the storm. I always wonder how our donations are spent. You will excuse me if I am a bit skeptable about the motives of organizations that collect huge amounts of money…including our government.

“What is the Red Cross waiting for?”

I remember something like this happening after the 911 attack. There was this overwhelming outpouring by many of us who wanted to let those who were affected by the blasts that they weren’t alone and so we game money…lots of money to organizations like the Red Cross. That money also went unspent for a long period of time…I think, at that time, the Salvation Army was called to task.  

According to a Huffington Post article , storm victims could have used more help this past winter. This is was according to Kathleen McCarthy, director of the Center for the Study of Philanthropy and Civil  Society at the City University of New York. And the Red Cross was not there.

It is tough to know which organization is acting responsibility and which needs to be put on the carpet. That is one reason I hesitate to give money. I would rather help those around me…people I know who need a hand. Maybe to cook a dinner or take them to the store. It’s not as easy as clicking online to give a donation but at least I can see the smiles of people who appreciate the a small gesture of kindness.

How do  you handle donations? Have you ever asked for a refund?  

All this came about because I needed some beach pails.

My company just developed a new program for family trip planning. We are going to events with a great display to let parents know how easy it can be to plan a day trip and share it with friends and family. Recently we added our newly adopted dog, Bandit to our display.

(I will come back to Wal-Mart…everyone does.)

We decided that Bandit would love being at the beach. We got him a beach chair, a Yankee Baseball cap and now I wanted some beach pails to fill out the summer scene. No one had them right now but, you guessed it, Wal-Mart. The price…97 cents and, of course, it was made in China.

Think about it…how much was the person who worked in the factory being paid for this pail?  Were they working in clean working conditions?  Were the doors locked so the workers couldn’t get out if there was a fire?

What’s your thoughts? When you trying to save money but still be socially responsible, what do you do?

Now these exclamations aren’t an everyday occurrence, but they are often enough to make me reminiscence about the “good ol’ days”. I try so hard not to turn into my mom or dad with the “You don’t know how good you got it and the when I was your age”. But damn kid! You seriously don’t know! Most of the time I can stay calm and do my best to be the adult. But there are times when the 7 year old in me wants to just get down on their level and battle!

I seriously understand and appreciate those old Calgon commercials on a whole new level.
It’s funny in a way because the behavior we start to except from our children we would never take from our peers. Could you imagine if you told your friend they couldn’t borrow your computer and they threw themselves on the floor screaming and yelled “I hate you! You’re the worst friend ever!”  We would probably smack them across the face and tell them to get a hold of themselves. But our darling children pull this same crap and we just say to ourselves, oh it’s just a phase, they’ll grow out of it, they need to express their feelings etc. Forget that! They need to get their spoiled butts up to their room and clean it, and do some laundry while they are at it!

What started to bug me and some of the other parents  was the “standards” that HAD to be met at each grade level. I for one feel that every child is an individual and learns in different ways and at different speeds. How could we possibly group all children together as one and expect the same result from every child?

Now I know public school has its limits and I as the parent must do my part to give my child a well-rounded education(which I think I do). But what the hell am I paying over $8,000 a year in taxes for? A new system that wasn’t tested? A system that we the parents, who foot a good part of the bill, were never consulted on?

After speaking to other parents and teachers from other parts of the country who have already been using the Common Core, it seems this is more about a standard for teachers and not really about the kids. It is a way to grade teachers on their results. It has also been said that it gives school districts a way to fire teachers even if they already have tenure.

If a teacher does not have a certain percentage of students in the 3-4 range (3=meets grade expectations 4=above grade expectation) they can be fired. I know of several teachers that are now stressed about the pressure to get good results. How is this benefiting our kids? Now I know my son is smart, but I also know he does not do well with pressure.

My husband and I have spent well over an hour with our son on homework that probably should only take 15-20 minutes each night. But that’s what our son needed to have a good outcome with the work. At the end he was happy and proud of the work he had done. If we had pushed him to get it done faster, it would have been a disaster.

I know that most of our teachers are doing their best and we have great ones in our school district, but I feel this Common Core crap is going to hurt both our students AND our teachers. I know I am not the only one concerned about this, check out the meeting minutes from the New Paltz BOE here.

Besides our kids being the same age, in the same class, living just around the corner from us and having sons roughly the same age, my husband and I really get along with the parents as well. So being the Discount Diva I just wouldn’t be me if I didn’t identify the top seven ways playdating saves you money.

1. Your House or Mine? Either answer means that you can skip the trip to Jumpin Jakes or Chuck E. Cheese or the plethora of other kiddie entertainment venues that are ripe with sick kids. So you save money by not going out and the money you would have spent on cold medicine and doctor’s visits.

2. Less Travel means less gas. Hopefully your child is friends with someone who lives fairly close by. If your super lucky like me, they might even live within walking distance eliminating both the money needed for gas and the need to strap your kids into the car.

3. Snacks are cheap or free. You can save a ton of money both on hosting or attending playdates. You can buy cheap snacks at Aldi or your choice of grocery store or you can get out your cookbook and enlist your little chefs to help you whip up a yummy treat for your guests for very little money. You can bring snacks to your playdates or just reciprocate by hosting next time.

4. New toys!!! Often my kids just aren’t interested in playing with their toys, but invite some friends over and it’s like Christmas day all over agin. They take new interest in their toys and while at their friend’s house they get to play with toys they don’t have at home. New toys, games, and activities that’ll keep your kiddo’s busy for hours are usually just a phone call away.

5. Mom-dates. Just as you save money by not having to take the kiddos out for some entertainment, especially on these cold winter days you also don’t have to go out to dinner or shopping to have some great adult entertainment. If you get along with your child’s friend’s parents you can have great adult conversation while the kids are playing and in our case end up getting invited to parties as well.

6. Baby-sitting swaps. If your kids get along really well and if you’ve built up trust in the parents over time you could take it to the next level in your “play-dating” relationship and agree to swap babysitting services, saving both parents money on babysitting and giving each family a parenting night off.

7. Mom-networking – priceless! You never know what great new knowledge, experience or even goodies can be gained when moms get together. You want to know if that latest and greatest toy lives up to the hype, need someone to watch your child in case of a 2-hour delay from school, or don’t want to spend good money on halloween costumes next year – playdates provide great networking opportunities to share. You can swap toys, clothes or shoes. You can carpool to the town pool or playground. You’re only limited by your imagination. And if you’re really lucky maybe a playdate can turn into lifelong friendships between families.

What’s your experience with playdates? Feel free to share.

My first post.

Hello world out there!

An introduction to me: Most people write something here like: “I am a working mother of two” but that doesn’t come close to defining who I am. I don’t think anyone can do that in just one sentence. So I will try to do it in a few sentences, ha! So here we go. I am a crazy, fun, bitchy, sometimes irrational woman. I grew up in a hippie/divorced household and moved out when I was about 16. I like to live in a grey world of balance where nothing is black or white. I have two amazing, annoying, spastic, wonderful children who keep me constantly learning and growing as a human being. SO there it is in a few sentences.

I am currently the art director at Hudson Valley Parent magazine and really love my job. After seeing our other great blogs I decided I’d give it a go. I will do my best to give an honest and fresh perspective on parenting that will not be your typical “fluff” blog. Hopefully you will enjoy and commiserate with me in all the joys, heartache and madness that is being a mom.

4. Plan for leftovers. While watching an episode of Chopped on the food network that was dedicated entirely to making new entrees out of leftovers my husband said, “You’d be great at this. You’re the queen of leftovers.” If you don’t plan to use leftovers they get thrown out and that’s a waste of money. If you buy meat in bulk, know what meals you want to get out of that package. For example if I buy the family pack of ground beef I plan for three beef dishes like tacos, spaghetti, and chili. I also get whole chickens and plan on using the leftovers in casseroles, stir fry, in spaghetti sauce or soups. I always count the number of “meals” I can get from each package not the “meats” when shopping. So whole chickens are counted as two meals, family packages of ground beef are three meals etc. allowing me to buy less meat which is really expensive. Planning to use your leftovers when you buy your groceries means that there will be less food in the garbage which also means more money in your pocket.

5. Cook more and serve less. It’s always cheaper and healthier to buy ingredients than prepackaged foods. Prepackaged foods are good for one meal but the same basic ingredients can be used in many meals. There was a time when I never used recipes or cooked from scratch because I thought it was too complicated. But now if there’s something I want to make I get out my cookbook or do an internet search for a recipe. By searching online you can usually read how other people rated that particular recipe before you decide to try it.

When I was in grade school I went away on a two-day trip during which we ate in a meal hall with plates of food served family style at each table. The rule was you could eat all you wanted as long as you finished what you took. Every class had their uneaten food weighed at the end of the meal and it was definitely frowned upon to be the group with the heaviest amount of wasted food. What did I learn from this? Especially with kids, be reserved with your portion sizes. It’s more cost effective to serve seconds then to scrape a bunch of uneaten food into the garbage. I also try to get a feel for how much my family will eat. If we have too much rice or pasta leftover after a meal I cut back the next time I make it. If there are no leftovers at all, kudos to the cook.

I’m always in search of money saving tips so if you have any please share or if there is a grocery store you just love, let me know what their best prices are. I think we could all use a few more dollars in our wallets these days.

I was always active as a child. I was a cheerleader from the time I started kindergarten until 9^th grade. I played basketball in middle school and high school and played softball from the time I could walk until I graduated from high school. Not only did I play all these sports, but I excelled in them. I was the captain of every team I played on and I was one of the best players on every team (okay, I’ll stop bragging and reliving my glory days).

So what was the problem?

Since 7^th grade, I’ve been on constant diets. I’ve tried Weight Watchers, South Beach, Atkins, the Grapefruit Diet, the Lemonade Diet, and a slew of other diets with wacky names. I’d lose one or two pounds, then gain it all right back.

I’ve even tried hCg shots paired with phentermine (an appetite suppressant). I lost a total of zero pounds with this “magical elixir,” mainly because the phentermine made me jittery and I always felt like my heart was going to explode… I didn’t continue taking the phentermine for very long.   

In high school I was diagnosed with PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome), which inhibited my weight loss efforts, but wasn’t exactly the solution to my “weighty” issue. The main issue was the fact that I would not eat in front of anyone. Odd, I know.

I wouldn’t eat breakfast; if I did it was high in sugar and carbohydrates. While my classmates were eating lunch, I was sitting in the court yard writing or playing a game of catch with some teammates. I would go the entire day without eating, go to a 2 hour sports practice then come home and binge until I went to bed.

Finally in college I got serious about losing weight. Since graduating from college in December of 2010, I’ve lost over 100 pounds. I recently revamped my diet (I was getting bored eating the same salad and grilled chicken every night) and I’ve stuck to it for the most part.

I’d be lying to you if I said I’ve stuck to my workout routine in the past two months. The fact is, I’ve got off track with my workouts. So, Jesse (our art director) and Laura (our editorial assistant) and I have joined Planet Fitness. We’ve made a pact to be each other’s “kick in the butt”.

We’re going to the gym tonight after work to get our membership cards and take a tour. We’re going to start going together after work on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Then we’re on our own to work out on the weekends or other days of the week. We’ll take videos, pictures and share our progress on this blog.

If you want to join our “Get Fit” challenge, email me at editor@excitingread.com and we’ll let you know when we’re working out!

I can do it! [positive thinking never hurts!]

I’m more determined than ever to get these final 30 pounds off and keep it off. Last week everything just clicked and I realized… my goal is within reach!

Maybe it was the Biggest Loser marathon I watched or maybe it was the hours I spent on Pintrest playing with the weight loss simulator and pinning exercise routines… whatever it was I’m glad I’m back in weight loss mode!

On the left is a virtual representation of me at my heaviest (300 pounds) and on the right is a virtual representation of me at my goal weight.

I’ve devised a workout plan and nutrition plan that I believe will help me lose the last of the weight in a healthy and timely manner.

Here’s my plan:

Exercise – Go back on my regular exercise routine of two hours of cardio five times a week and one hour of weight training three times
a week.

Since moving to Beacon,
I cancelled my membership at my gym in Carmel. I’m joining Planet Fitness later this month and until then I’ll go for runs around my apartment complex (even if it’s snowing).

Nutrition –Every morning I’m making a mad dash out the door in order to get to the office on time, so I need something I can make the night before and just grab on my way out the door (I’m sure you moms and dads out there can relate). So for breakfast I’m going to alternate between a hard-boiled egg one day and a protein shake the next.

Oh lunch… I always seem to forget my lunch at home. So my co-workers and I tend to eat out a lot. Besides being bad for my health, eating out [almost] daily is killing my budget! So, I actually went to Shoprite during their can-can sell and bought a half a million cans of tuna (okay, not literally, but pretty close). Then I bought rye bread (the mini square loaf used for appetizers) and some fruit. So for lunch I’ll be having tuna on rye with an orange.

The big thing for me is kicking my soda habit. I used to bring a bottle of soda to work every day (in place of coffee). I’d only have one soda, but one a day really adds up! I’ve stopped drinking soda for a week now and already feel less bloated!

Now comes the really hard part… DINNER!

I admit it… when I get home from work, my laziness can only compare to that of an over privileged  teenager. If Bill didn’t beg me to make dinner, I’d go to bed without eating each night. I’d rather lounge around in my pajamas pinning items for my dream home on Pintrest or cheering on Ryan Callahan and the New York Rangers (I’m so happy the lock out is over)! Poor Bill, I eventually make him a big bowl of pasta or order out. The only problem: Pasta makes me sick!  I’ve tried whole wheat options, but nevertheless, I end up getting sick for hours after I eat pasta. So, I’ve decided for dinner I’ll start making a healthy protein like chicken or fish and serving it with a salad or some veggies on the side.

Bill will just have to get over his opposition to veggies! He’ll thank me later!

I bet you’re wondering why this blog is titled “Tonight is the night!”  Well, here goes… I’m going to trick Bill into eating and actually liking vegetables! I’m going to show him veggies can be just as delicious as pasta! I’ve searched high and low (on Pintrest obviously) for  pasta substitute recipes. I’ve seen so many recipes for pasta dishes that use spaghetti squash in place of the regular spaghetti. I asked my co-worker, Laura (our resident health food know-it-all) and she said it would be a hard sell since the squash is “mushier” than regular pasta. I decided I’d try to trick him anyway and record his reaction for all of you to see tomorrow!

Here’s hoping I can trick Bill into eating healthier with me!

After losing 130 pounds, I’ve gotten off the health nut bandwagon a little bit (thanks to the holidays). I still have 35 pounds to lose, so I’m determined to lose it before my 25th birthday in July.

I’ve decided the best way to keep myself in check is to keep a video diary and share it with the Hudson Valley! So starting next Wednesday I’ll begin posting weekly video updates to my blog. I’ll share healthy recipes, exercise tips, my triumphs and set backs. I’m going to put it all out there. 

If you’re looking to get healthy this year, I welcome you to join me on my journey!

Read the book aloud and have a good time.

The comedy of Abbott & Castello lives on in a new children’s book

Maybe you at too young to remember the comedy team of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. Or maybe you weren’t even born yet. They were a popular duo during the 40s and the 50s. But I am sure that if even if you haven’t seen Abbot and Costello you are familiar with their comedy routines.

Do you remember the sketch of “Who’s on First?” If not, here’s the beginning of my version:

• Guy one:  I would like you to meet some of my baseball players.
  WHO’S on first
  WHAT’S on second
  I DON’T KNOW’S on third
• Guy two:  That’s what I want to find out…the guy’s names
• Guy one: I told you.
  WHO’S on first
  WHAT’S on second
  I DON’T KNOW’S on third

At this point I am sure you get the rest. My staff had a blast reading the book based on the Abbott & Costello baseball comedy skit. John Martz, a cartoonist and illustrator from Toronto, presents delightful illustrations that just “pop off” the page.

Who’s On First? is published by Quirk Books and will be available February 19, 2013.

My mom, me and dad playing in the snow!

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I was the nicest kid anyone could ever meet… until (DUH DUH DUH) middle school. In middle school, I think  the devil possessed my body (not literally, but my parents may disagree). If there was an argument to be had… oh boy did we have it.

When high school rolled around, I stopped fighting with my parents so much and started focusing on sports and my education, but couldn’t wait to get out of the house! Then it was time to go to college. I chose a University that was two hours away and planned on living on campus, but by the second week of classes I was a full blown commuting student. I missed my parents!

I love my life here in the Hudson Valley, but I’m not going to lie, I had a very difficult time when I first moved here. I would cry at least once a day because I felt guilty for leaving my family and because I just needed a “Morgan Hug” from my parents. Honestly, sometimes I just wanted to hear someone else say “y’all.”

I was making all these major life changes at one time (life-changing weight loss, moving away, renting my first apartment, getting my first real world job) it was difficult. Not a day goes by that I don’t speak to them either by text, phone, email or skype. I’m a true only child! My parents really do mean everything to me and although we talk constantly… nothing can compare to seeing them in person.

So, over the holidays I was lucky enough to be able to travel back to my hometown of Monroe, North Carolina to visit my family.  I haven’t seen my family in almost a year, so my mini family vacation was just what the doctor ordered! It’s so  funny… no matter how old I get, when I’m with my parents I still feel like a kid. It seems I’ll always be my daddy’s “sweet pea” and my mom’s “Velcro baby.”

I invited my parents and aunt to come back to New York to see my new place. They ended up staying for two weeks. We had a blast! We explored the Hudson Valley and even went to NYC on New Years’ eve…  We ended up in White Plains to see their ball drop because all the streets in Manhattan were closed by the time we got there, but we still had fun! Being snowed in a couple days and the close quarters didn’t help with a little bout of cabin fever, but in the end we all enjoyed ourselves.

I can’t wait for them to come back so we can go exploring the Hudson Valley again. Homemade breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday courtesy of my mom doesn’t hurt either!

I guess the purpose of this blog is to let all you parents out there know that even if you’re going through tough times with your teens, tween or even toddlers, it will get better. In my case, mother and father know best. It just takes time for us to all figure that out.

1. Screw the skinny jeans and vow to love your body instead. Yes you heard right, screw that pair of pants that everyone keeps at the back of her closet in the hopes that one day we can wiggle our way back into them. So many of us make a resolution to lose weight instead of one to live healthier.  Health does not equate to your weight. When I was younger I was super skinny, to the point of being teased in high school about it. Back then I was more focused on my other flaws like my braces and lack of any curves to speak of. Today, I think I’ve made peace with the size my body likes to be. I may gain or lose about 10 pounds based on the season but my body seems to really settle on the weight I am right now and you know what, that’s fine with me. I actually gave up the “ideal” skinny jeans in favor of ones that fit and flatter my body. We moms have forgotten that our bodies have given us some amazing little people so you know I think we should cut our bodies a little slack. Instead of focusing on losing weight I have decided to be more active with my kids, drink more water and be happy with my body just the way it is. Despite what TV trends would like us to believe, sexy comes in all shapes and sizes.

2. Water my OWN lawn more (for those of you that haven’t guessed yet – I am extremely metaphorical.) What I mean is I’m going to stop as much as humanly possible comparing my life to others because the grass will always be greener on the other side if I’ve stopped watering my own lawn. It’s totally easier said than done, but I think it’s so easy to get caught up in admiring what other people have that we tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do. This year, I will try to focus on the many blessings in my life. My hope is that if I do, I’ll be happier with everything just the way it is because I am a frugal person and there’s no easier way to save money then to love what you’ve already got.

3. Make debt my mortal enemy. I’ve already whittled my budget by a little more than $500 a month (yes, I’m bragging a little), but the pile of debt is far from defeated. Now in 2013 I am making it my mission in life to get rid of all my credit card debt and to not incur any new debt. Whenever I need a morale boost to stay on budget I look at my debt repayment plan and see how I could pay off my house in 13 years if I stay on track and snow ball all my savings from each repaid debt toward the biggest of them all – my mortgage. So I’ll forgive my clunky minivan for its latest round of issues instead of wishing for a new one because I’m looking way past 2013 to the bigger picture.

4. Cook from scratch more. There’s a reason it was always a joy to eat over grandma’s house. They grew up in a time when all our meals didn’t come out of a little box or can. They used real food, recipes and took the time to actually cook instead of just reheat. I’m far from Betty Crocker, but I can read and follow directions so that’s what I’m going to try to keep up in 2013. It is far cheaper and more delicious to cook from scratch. Sure it’s a little more work, but at least I’ll end up with leftovers people will actually eat (a money saver in and of itself). I’ve noticed that nobody ever wants to reheat the hamburger helper type meals in my house anyway so in the garbage it goes.

5. Last but not least – Get Happy! I find that happiness is a concept that evolves and so it bears re-evaluating a lot. I literally stop and ask myself “What’s it going to take to make me happy?” So for 2013 I’m going to keep on writing till I figure it out.

I wonder if the reason so many New Year’s resolutions fail is because we aim too small with our goals. Did you make any New Year’s resolutions? Did you keep last year’s? Feel free to share your tips on what keeps you on track cause it sure doesn’t hurt to share the motivation.

When tragedy hits I turn to “The Fourth Estate”….the news media. That’s what I have always relied on to find out the “real” story.  I get my local daily newspaper delivered every day. I go online to check news sources such as National Public Radio (NPR), The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, CBS news online and more.

I love watching the 1976 movie “All the President’s Men” where Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein forced President Richard Nixon to resign through dogged research and fact checking. That is the strength of the news media. Good investigative reporting keeps our society honest.

But as the internet changes the way we gather information, the news media seems to be changing the rules of good reporting. The media cries out that we should pay for their online services in order for them to maintain a high reporting standard. They keep telling us that they should be our reliable source for news information. They assure us that they hire reporters who get the “true” facts that keep our system honest.

With the Newtown, Connecticut tragedy reporting “The Fourth Estate” certainly did not live up to any journalism standards. In their rush to get online first, all the biggest names in the media business, including The New York Times, National Public Radio and CBS News, faltered in the rush.

Wrong facts. Wrong names. It’s all wrong.  If the big guys get it wrong on these emerging stories, how can we believe anything they print?

Last night at 6pm I traveled through Newtown to attend my grandson’s winter concert at the Trumbull middle school. I saw police cars and media vans travelling the roads in and around Newtown as people tried to deal with the hand they were dealt. At 9pm, as we made our way back home through Newtown, the media vans were still there “reporting” from the front lawn of town hall.

What is the story they are going after? State police told the media that all information will be posted on the state police website and that there will only be one spokesperson for the team. The rules have been laid out but the media continues to get quotes from less than reliable sources like a former babysitter living in California.

Has the media become less reliable because we want the breaking news as it happens?  Are we demanding “play-by-play” reporting regardless of whether it is accurate?

Is the media giving us what we want because they need the ratings and the numbers in order to stay in business?

Whatever the answers, we need to be more discerning in what we consider “truth” in reporting. “The fourth Estate” is just another business not necessarily worthy of our trust.

I’m not a religious person, but I have prayed for these families whose names I don’t know and whom I have never met. I know there is nothing that anyone can do to make things right, to bring back what is lost so I offer up only this totally feeble attempt at comfort – Thank you for your children.

There is no justice that would suffice taking every moment of loving them, nurturing them, watching them grow, and worrying about them. It is no one’s right to take that which you have made from not just your bodies, but your hearts and souls as well. I know it will not bring you comfort, that doesn’t exist is this moment right now, but hopefully one day you will find comfort in knowing that you gave the world these amazing human beings. In our children’s laughs we will hear yours. We will tuck them into bed at night along with our own. They have changed us. I have always felt that children are the mirror we hold up to the world. They show us who we are and who we can be. Your children have made us better parents and they have made us better human beings. How will we ever be able to forget the precious gift of life now?

I have spent the better part of my adolescence and adulthood dealing with the loss of parents, both mine and my husband’s and I spend way more time than I care to really admit thinking about all the many ways life can slip away so easily. But when I lost my first pregnancy the most horrible part to me was that nobody really knew I had lost anything at all. How can you lose what has barely begun to live? To the world I was not a mother and to the world nothing had changed for me. But that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. I knew in that moment that parenthood begins in the heart first. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that the world sees you and feels your agony. In some measure your children have become ours. We have never met, but we know what lives in a parent’s heart, we feel that unending ache and we wish beyond anything that we could replace it with something else, anything else. I’d like to think that maybe one day we can replace that ache with hope.

We tend to think that we can’t change the world. It is just too daunting to imagine for one human being. But that is precisely what your children did – they changed the world. They made us care for strangers as strongly as our own flesh and blood. Despite the darkness that threatened to crush us, they have given us back our humanity. So again I say with the most humility I can muster- Thank you for your children.

When talking about kids and psychology Hudson Valley Parent turns to its expert,  Dr. Paul Schwartz, professor of psychology and education at Mount Saint Mary College in Newburgh.

He started off by saying, “There is not really a lot to tell. The reality of the situation for kids is not the same as it is for adults.”

Kids are more concerned with their immediate world

According to Dr. Schwartz, most kids are more involved with their world and the world immediately around them, especially during this time of year. “Kids are busy making their Christmas lists and thinking about what they may get this holiday season,” he says.

So, although we adults are trying to understand the senseless school shooting in Newtown, CT., kids are more involved with their day-to-day activities, whether it’s birthday parties or shopping or just playing outside.

 “My grandkids live several towns over from Newtown,” says Hudson Valley Parent publisher Terrie Goldstein. “I was really concerned about my grandkids reaction to hearing about the shooting since they are less than 10 minutes away from the Sandy Hook Elementary School. And they have friends who live in that school district.”  Her grandkids are seven and ten years old.

“My son told them about the incident when he picked them up from school on Friday afternoon. According to my son Paul, Robert didn’t say much, but my seven-year-old granddaughter, Lia,  said ‘He was probably on drugs.’”  Her granddaughter came up with a solution that satisfied her.

“I spoke to my grandkids early Saturday morning, to see how they were processing what was going on around them, says Terrie. “My grandson had a birthday party that afternoon and that’s all we talked about. You can’t beat a Laser Tag Birthday Party.  “

Keep the explanation simple

Although we adults try to review every piece of information about the incident, most kids are interested in the simplest explanation. Start there and then see their reaction. Wait until they ask questions so that you will understand their concerns.  “Respond to how your kids are processing the information,” advises Dr. Schwartz.

“I remember when my son was seven-years-old he asked me where babies came from,” comments Hudson Valley Parent’s publisher. “I was all set with this very involved description of sex and mommies and daddies.  And I started by saying that babies grow in a mommy’s belly. ‘Great’, he says as he walked away. “

When talking with children use the old advertising adage KISS…Keep It Simple Stupid.

Children sense your tension

Be careful about showing your own anxiety because kids sense your tension and react accordingly.  “Children model adult reactions,” says Dr. Schwartz.  “So if you show anxiety, your children will pick up on that.”  

Remember there are not easy answers to why this incident occurred. According to Dr. Schwartz we are all looking for answers but there is no pat solution. He feels it is all about easy access to firearms.  He says bullies don’t bring guns into schools. And if we are looking at kids who remain alone remember that creative kids are loners and inherent in their creative energies is their desire to be alone and aloof.  

Provided by Newtown Bee

This morning a masked gunman entered Sandy Hook Elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut.  27 people were killed including 18 children. Several others are being treated for wounds.

I’m not exactly sure what to say right now, but I feel the need to say something.

Although I do not know anyone directly affected by the shooting, I have this unwavering desire to break down and cry.  I read story after story today of students recounting what went on during the shooting.

One student said he and his classmates got sick to their stomachs after hearing police officers on roof. In interview with WABC television, Brendan Murray, a student at Sandy Hook Elementary, said he was in the gym when he heard a banging sound. He first thought a custodian had knocked something over, but then he heard a scream.

“Then a police came in and was like, ‘Is he in here?’ Then he ran out,” Murray said. “And then somebody yelled, ‘Get to a safe place!’ So we went to the closet in the gym.”

No child should ever have to go though something so horrific.

Parents send their children to school with the notion that they are going to be safe. How dare this gunman come in and kill these innocent children that are just trying to get a solid education… Why is that fair? Children should not have to fear for their lives each day they go to school.

1. Shop with your eyes shut at Aldi – Aldi is a supermarket diamond in the rough.  I can’t tell you how many years I’ve driven right passed it, barely noticing its existence.  The building admittedly looks drab and the sign is not really bright.  Nothing about its appearance screams shop here, but if you do I promise you won’t be sorry.  The selection is far smaller, but on the plus side so are the prices.  If I told you that you could walk out of the grocery store with twice as much food for half as much money would you do it?  The food packaging is nothing spectacular and 95% are Aldi brands you’ve never heard of before, but try shopping with your eyes shut (ok not literally) but suspend your need to search for those brand names you’ve been trained to buy.  In other words, stop looking at the brand and look instead at the item.  Don’t expect to find Wonder bread, but look at the price of $1 a loaf at Aldi and you can see the real value.  I regularly save a ton of money on staple items like cereal (never more than $1.99 a box, 4 cup packages of cheese – $2.99, milk – $2.99 a gallon, bread – $.99 a loaf, juice from concentrate – $.99 just to name a few.)An unexpected bonus of shopping at Aldi is you can find some brand name toys and household items that make great gifts.  You never know what you’ll find- Christmas lights, cappuccino makers, steam mops.  Great gifts do not have to cost a fortune.  If you are doing a lot of cooking and baking for the holidays, Aldi has the ingredients you need for less.  Two tips to remember are – ALWAYS bring a quarter and reusable bags.  One of the ways they keep their costs down is to not hire people to return carts to the corral outside the store.  You put your quarter in the cart and get it back when you return your cart when you’re done.  Also, they don’t bag your stuff and don’t provide free bags.  They do sell bags for .05 a piece, but if you bring your reusable bags from home it’s simpler.  You can also collect empty boxes throughout the store to load up your groceries.  They have super fast checkers, but you bag your own stuff at a long counter.  I actually find myself less aggravated with shopping because I can put things where I want them and my reusable bags carry more and save several trips bringing things in from the car since other grocery stores usually pack plastic bags so lightly because they fear ripping.  Not to mention its better for the planet and reduces clutter in my house.
2. Volunteer as a family – How does this save you money?  Well not only do charities need an extra helping hand this time of year, but it keeps you out of the malls and gives your family some perspective.  It gives you a chance to help people who have less and perhaps your children will pare down their Christmas lists afterwards or at the very least stop adding new items.  If you can’t find a charity to help, look around in your neighborhood.  There’s always someone who could use a helping hand like an elderly or disabled neighbor, an overwhelmed mom who could really use a day out.  Giving of yourself can be simple and remind you about how lucky most of us already are, without the plethora of gifts under the tree.
3. Shop Strategically – Ok, for those who love shopping out there repeat after me – Shopping is not a leisure activity.  Don’t shop to de-stress or just for fun.  If you do, you wind up paying way more than you should.   In many ways I shop like I’m on a mission – to get what I need at a good price and then get the heck out of there as quickly as possible.  There are whole studies out there about mood music in shopping malls and strategically placed treats.  Why you ask?  Because the longer they can keep you in the stores, the more money you spend.  Check your prices twice, once when you’re choosing an item and again at the register.  Often times registers and cashiers make mistakes and a sale price doesn’t ring up properly.  Such is the case when my husband and I went to Toys ‘R Us a few weeks ago.  Four rounds of price checks ended up saving about $30 in incorrect charges.  Also, if a toy comes with a free bonus item and you can’t find it on the shelf ask for help.  If they don’t have it, ask if they can give you a similar item with the same price or see if they can give you a rain check.  Use coupons only on items you would have bought anyway.  I made my husband put back an item he wanted to buy because it was on clearance.  Clearance or not, if my son or daughter isn’t going to play with it, it’s a waste of money period.  Also, use your store rewards cards.  Many times you’ll earn coupons for future purchases.  I plan to use the $21 in coupons I earned on my Toys ‘R Us rewards card to buy presents after the holidays for family I won’t be seeing during the holiday season.
4. &  5. Limit Gift Giving and Give of Yourself – I know this is both obvious and yet easier said than done.  The bottom line is that times are tough for almost everyone nowadays and we simply can’t buy gifts for everyone so set some real limits before you start.  A few years ago my sister-in-laws and I decided to only buy gifts for the kids.  Giving each couple in your family a gift really starts to add up and the more family you have the harder it is to foot the bill for all that gift giving.  If you really want to give them something, give of yourself, your time and your talent.  If you love to knit or sew, bake or craft almost anything can become a homemade gift from the heart.  Even just a coupon for mowing their lawn in the spring or babysitting can be a very thoughtful gift.  Co-workers in my opinion don’t really need store-bought gifts.  How about some homemade cookies and a card?  Or if you really like the coupon thing –how about an IOU for fixing the paper jam in the copier next time it happens to them because if you work in an office, nobody likes searching all those drawers of paper looking for the jam.
   
   6.   Cash in Your Credit Card Rewards –If you have a credit card with reward points, now is the time to redeem them for gifts or gift cards for the holidays.  They usually have free shipping so even one present bought with rewards you’ve earned means more money in your pocket for something else.  A word of caution: Try not to pay for presents on credit card.  Nothing takes the joy out of the season like realizing you still owe money on your credit card for presents you bought last year.Stay tuned for more tips and please feel free to share your own.

Ok, so it’s not like I don’t vividly remember pregnancy or having an infant.  My son just recently turned 3 and thanks to his stubborn refusal to “go” on the potty I’m still changing diapers.  I have a 5-year-old daughter so having both a boy and a girl means that this baby fever was not caused by my desire to have a child of the opposite gender than what I already have.  I don’t pretend hovering over the toilet for 9 months was fun and no I don’t think my stretch marks are so sexy that I can’t wait to add more to the bunch.  So what is causing this?

It could be one of several things.  It started in the first month I became a stay-at-home mom.  The idea sort of popped into the back of my mind one day like, “Hey Erin wouldn’t it be cool to have another child and actually not have to juggle child care and work outside the home (I phrase it this way because I wholeheartedly believe that all moms are working moms).  I mentioned it to my mom one day at lunch and she seemed excited at the prospect of another grand baby.  If you had asked me six months ago, I was completely unwaveringly ready to retire the old uterus here.  I was caring for 3 babies along with my own kids when I was running my daycare with a friend of mine.  Let me tell you, my hat is off to those of you with multiples.  It was like having triplets for 6 months and it was so exhausting.  Then once I stopped doing daycare and starting focusing on just my own kids it made me truly appreciate them more.  I can honestly say that bringing them into the world is the best thing I ever did.

Then factor in my age – I’m 32 and although that’s not old, I realize I’m headed toward the end of my baby making days.  Then there’s the obvious reason for my spike in baby fever – my mom just passed away in September.  I miss her terribly and although I know there is nothing I can do to bring her back, what I want in a very selfish way is to create more love in my life.  I’ve lost my mom, dad and grandmother and I feel an obvious wane in the world of people who love me.  It’s selfish to the core, but isn’t that really the inherent reason we have kids in the first place – to love and be loved and to live on through the next generation?  I guess I just want to have something beautiful to look forward to.  There has been so much sadness and loss in both my life and the world lately and I just want to have something amazing to say, “see this is why we keep going.”

So now you know all the reasons for my symptoms, now what I need is a cure.  Any ideas?  I have tried my best to throw logic at it.  I’ve used the money objection – having a baby will make it harder financially for my family, my two bedroom house would require some remodeling to accommodate another child, and it would prolong the number of years I’d be staying home with my kids and therefore not able to contribute financially to my household.  These are all things I know with my head and if I ever forget my husband is all too quick to remind me.  So since he doesn’t want any more kids, I’m calling on you Hudson Valley parents to help me.  Please tell me, does this feeling go away in time?  Have any of you had a baby fever baby?  How did you know when you were truly “done” having kids.  Did you convince your spouse to have more or was it the other way around?  I truly hope to find a cure for this soon.

Hubby and I lived in Manhattan then.  All who did (and many who did not) have stories of that day:  where they were, what they saw, how they suffered.  We were among the fabulously lucky and have not felt the need to establish our bonafides by bragging about our near escapes.  I used to get frustrated with people who felt otherwise, sharing hearsay stories of a roommates’ cousin whose colleague lived in Jersey City and saw a cloud of smoke…this Baconesque six degrees of separation didn’t and doesn’t impress me.  Why the need to draw ourselves further into the tragedy?  At a volunteer shift at Ground Zero that fateful September, I knelt in the mud to scrub the dust, debris, and remains off of the boots of search and rescue team members before they entered Red Cross headquarters.  I will never, ever forget what I saw in their eyes, and from then on I never understood why people would endeavor to connect themselves to such a calamity.

Until now.

I am originally from the southern shores of Long Island, the beachy suburbs turned waterlogged disaster areas.  My parents’ house, while not condemned or completely destroyed, took a beating in the storm.  Water filled the basement completely and started its muddy ascent up the first floor.  A room on the back of the house detached itself and started a journey towards the bay.  The chimney peeled off with the house’s vinyl siding.  The neighbor’s boat dock came ashore and hammered into my childhood home like a battering ram.  Even now, a week later, the house remains soggy, smelly, gaping with holes, and devoid of light or heat.  My Facebook feed, vastly populated by the status updates of others who grew up there, bears witness to the destruction:  tales of friends’ homes and family businesses, all lost to the storm.

Though I’m overjoyed that my new home (and the new-home-to-be) was rattled but largely undamaged by the storm, my heart is currently in my old hometown.  And I finally understand what people were doing in connecting themselves, however remotely, to the horrors of 9/11.  We may be on the outside but we feel like we somehow belong on the inside.  We connect ourselves in any way possible because it just doesn’t feel right to not be affected.  We don’t know how to help, and we don’t know what to do.  So we draw ourselves in, telling our stories of parents without power and friends without FEMA.  We are sad, and we are helpless.  Little shards of our hearts still lived at the beach and we’re worried that they washed away with the tide.  All we want to throw the line and keep ourselves moored, however tenuous the thread.

**For anyone looking to help in a particularly local way, the North Shore LIJ Health System has created a fund to assist employees in critical need of aid.  You can read more or make a donation at:  http://www.northshorelijhelps.com/how-to-help/

1.  Spreadsheets are not a bad thing.  Some people never give a thought to having a household budget and I was one of them until my family had to survive on my husband’s paycheck.  The first thing I did when I stopped working was sit down, track all my expenses from the last month of our two-income life and make a budget, including what we were spending and a goal budget.  I remember complaining to my co-workers about being broke all the time when I worked and although I checked my bank account every day I can honestly say I didn’t really understand where my money was going.  I was shocked to see exactly how much we spent on dinning out and fast food.  Eww it kinda made me sick to my stomach looking at a total of $237 spent on fast food in one month.  So guess where cut number 1 went to.  Yes, my husband now takes a packed lunch to work at least 3 times a week and coffee in a reusable coffee mug (score for the environment too).  Item by item I went down the line and asked myself, “how can I save money here?”  Here’s the summary: it took five months, but we FINALLY refinanced our mortgage, saving us $280 a month.  Plus two months mortgage of not having to pay for the mortgage during and immediately following our closing means that we were able to pay off my personal loan to the sweet savings tune of $95 a month.  Next up is my husband’s personal loan and then we hit the credit cards.  Call it “extreme cheapskate” behavior if you want, but I even typed up a debt repayment plan which spells out exactly how I’m going to use the newfound savings to pay off one debt after another all the way down to when our mortgage will be paid off.  Ok, so maybe it’s a little weird to plan  30 plus years in the future, but I figure it’s better than having no plan and staying stuck in the same debt cycle we’re in.

2.  We are living in a disposable world and I am a “reusable” girl (sung in my head to Madonna’s “Material Girl”).  You name the product and we use it and throw it in the garbage - napkins, paper towels, paper plates, cups, cleaning products (though it makes me sad how much I love my swiffer duster, I’ll simply try to use that cloth up till it’s good and filthy).  We all do it and we don’t think much of it.  But here’s the rub, while we’re out there disposing of everything we use, we’re also treating our money like it’s disposable too.  If you’re a millionaire that’s fine, but I don’t know anyone personally that can afford to just throw hard-earned money in the trash everyday.  So here’s what I’ve been doing, call it “extreme” if you want but nobody batted an eye when our grandparents did it.  Think of unmatched socks and worn out shirts as your friends.  Yes, I’m bringing the rag-bag back for cleaning.  Also I use, (gasp) “real” plates, silverware, cups and yes cloth napkins.  Ok so I’m still working on using the cloth napkins more, but it’s baby steps.   I get a little laugh at the commercials that claim a brand of paper towels are as soft as cloth while at the same time, striking fear into the hearts of all us germaphobes out there by warning of the contamination that comes of using cleaning cloths because they might spread germs.  Hello, that’s why you wash them.  And the paper hand towels for your house that makes me laugh because surely we all want to feel like using our restroom is as sanitary as the one at the local gas station.  I’m really not trying to mock so much as open some eyes.  The truth is that it’s super hard to give up all things disposable.  My husband still laughs at me while I wash my used tin foil.

3.  Haggling is not an embarrassing thing, or if it is I’ll take my embarrassment down to the bank and deposit it with all my savings.  I’ve haggled $500 off the asking price of each of my last couple used cars.  Yes I drive used and I pay neither a high car payment or a high insurance payment.  If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.  I called my cable company and told them I would have to cancel service if I couldn’t get my bill to $100 (that’s internet, phone and TV).  Of course my husband would have a heart attack if he came home to his TV playing nothing but static, but they don’t know that.  Guess what, it wasn’t that hard to talk them down.  I tried the same for my credit card company.  After explaining to them that no 19% is not a ”competitive” APR and a “member fee” is not acceptable I canceled my card.  If they had valued my 13 years as a customer they would have done more to keep me.  Thankfully I had no balance on that card.  Side note but there are a lot of little money traps we fall into because we simply don’t pay attention, like my husband and I paying for a P.O. Box we’ve kept 8 years after moving to our townhouse where our mailbox is at the top of our road and costs nothing.  As a bonus it’s not necessary to unstrap two kids and bring them in to the Post Office and restrap them and drive home.  Sure $44 is not a lot per year, but the point is that it’s our money and if I want to prove to myself that I respect money I can’t just go throwing it away.

3.  Free is for me.  Hand-me-downs are my favorite.  My sister, friends, and co-workers have all given me hand-me-down clothes for me and my kids.  I keep the next season of clothes in a trunk in my kids room and when the time comes for “new” clothes I “shop” at home.  No lines, no people all up in my personal space, and no debit to my bank account.  That to me is sweet.  Beyond this I think coupons are helpful if it’s something I can use.  ShopRite is pretty good for loss leaders on personal hygiene products and laundry detergent.  Provided you are not a slave to a particular brand there is no reason to ever pay for toothpaste or ever pay more than $1.50 for laundry detergent.  However, my feeling is if it’s for an item you won’t use, and can’t reasonably use up in your lifetime (think “Extreme Couponers” another show on TLC where people hoard items in every nook and craney of their houses) it’s not a good deal.  I also keep an eye out for promotions that can save my family money, like ShopRite’s free children’s prescription vitamins, which will save me $10 a month.  I know big deal right, well that’s $120 left in my bank account at the end of the year.  I think small to save big.  Just like the old saying, “if you worry about the ounces the pounds will take care of themselves.  Ok so in the show “Extreme Cheapskates” they show many people dumpster diving for food and household items.  The whole eating out of the garbage idea doesn’t appeal to me no matter how free it is.  But I have been known to scoop up good curbside freebies like a Little Tyke’s picnic table for my kids.  If it’s clean and usable, what’s the harm in keeping something out of the landfill?

I’m not suggesting we all become “cheapskates” in the negative sense of the word.  I like to try to live by financial expert Suzie Orman’s philosophy of ”People then money, then things.”  Meaning you take care of the people in your life first, build up your money, then you buy the things you want.  We can all learn something when we put our needs first, appreciate what we have, and save for what we want.

If you know of any great money-saving tips, please share because I’m always looking for new ways to save.

It’s been my goal for some time now to practice the principal of wanting what I have. It’s so easy to get caught in the trap of wanting more, more, more, bigger, and better until you either get spun off the hamster wheel or end up so dizzy you don’t know which direction you’re facing. It is comments like these that sting the most because they focus on the very epicenter of the wheel – “the American Dream,” a.k.a homeownership.

My husband and I bought our townhouse at the ages of 25 and 24 with absolutely no help from anyone. At the time, it was a choice between finding another rental or buying. When all the rentals we looked at fell short of what we wanted, we decided to buy. We bought what we could afford at the time. We had a five-year plan. We would sell after five years and begin our quest again for the elusive “bigger, better” house. Fast forward eight years and we’re crushed in a pitiful economy, and most of the houses for sale in our neighborhood are not moving, so we’ve recommitted to wanting what we have, and remembering all the things we loved when we bought this house- an open concept floor-plan, a small, but manageable backyard, a spacious fully finished basement.

Sure, I get jealous sometimes when I see things in other people’s houses that I wish my house had and it seems that there is no end to the photos on Facebook of friends’ large houses with huge lawns and stainless steel appliances. But I beg you, my friends, to remember that sometimes the “rest of us, you know those of us who rent apartments, own trailers, or townhouses or duplexes,” we who seem to find ourselves “locked out” of the “American dream,” are getting smothered here. There are many sizes and shapes that a “home” comes in, yet we all forget that it’s the family inside that home that makes it one, not the house itself. A house is just an empty vessel without the people who bring it to life.

There are far too many people who are struggling to “survive” the “American dream” these days. They are facing foreclosure on their homes. In some cases it’s because they felt they “deserved” that “American dream” house with the hefty price tag to boot.

Five months ago, the small business I started failed to thrive and I had to pull the plug. I’m now able to stay at home with my kids who are still little (5 and 2 1/2) in large part because we bought our townhouse when we were young and our incomes were smaller. I am able to live the life I want thanks to my smaller and yes, less “ideal” home. But when I hear comments like the one at my daughter’s party, it’s not hard to start to feel smothered all over again. While I want the “ideal” house one day, what I want is the ideal home life. So all I’m asking for friends, is please be kind with your words. We don’t all have to want the same things in this world. We just have to want we need and what we have. The rest is just gravy.

This move of ours is actually a double move. We’re building a brand spanking new house, literally from the ground up. Meanwhile, we’re cooling our heels in a rental for the next few months while our “forever home” is in the works (written in quotation marks to acknowledge our track record of six homes in eleven years and to bow our heads to those who believe we have no understanding of the “forever home” concept. Fair enough.).

Before leaving NYC, we looked into doing a short-term sublet there rather than the double move up here. If staying in Manhattan until the new house was built, Hubby could keep a short commute for a while longer and Bo could stay in her preschool. Yet even with the astronomical budget we had agreed upon as a short-term splurge, and with 15% over our astronomical budget added upon finding nada, we still couldn’t land a two-bedroom apartment for our family of four. Up here, in contrast, we’ve found an updated 5-bedroom house with extensive grounds, open layout, ginormous rooms, and did I mention the pool? Oh and yes, for a rent that is only three-quarters of our original budget.

Granted, we are a bit further afield, even by our new countrified standards; the rental house is a good ten minutes further into the countryside than our home-to-be will be. But the far-flung location does come with a few perks.

Exhibit 1: on our very first evening here, I looked out the window and saw a hot air balloon floating by.

Exhibit 2: we’ve had numerous visits from the creature welcome wagon.

Our first deer sighting was an accident. I looked out on the back deck while cooking dinner and saw a skinny little cat. I called to Hubby to point out the trespasser and he had a much more violent reaction than I expected. Rather than looking at the cat as I had asked (men…sigh), he looked past the deck to the enormous deer eating the foliage in our temporary yard. Pandemonium ensued as we tried to grab both girls and the camera and point them all towards Bambi, who promptly ran back off into the woods.

You experienced Hudson Valley-ers are, no doubt, laughing at me by now.  In the time since this initial deer experience, we’ve learned that this is hardly a rarefied event.  But it sure was exciting that first day.

The next day brought a bunny. Unless it was a squirrel. There was much debate over this at lunch, reminiscent of the scene in Notting Hill in which it is discussed whether one person can resemble both Ringo Starr and Topol, even if Ringo Starr and Topol bear no resemblance to each other. I still say it was a bunny. Bo agrees.

The day after that brought three deer at lunch and two deer at dinner. This time we managed to snap a photo, showing here:

My question: other than the damage caused to both a deer and a car should they meet, are deer dangerous? Is this the first thing I need to freak out about in our new country lives?

I wonder if this gal knows the way to her high school..

Earbuds and future drivers don’t mix.

Until I was speaking to the very nice lady who runs the driving school she’s attending.  “I have to say this,” I whispered into the phone.  “She didn’t know the way to the high school…should I be worried?” To that, she laughed.

“Mrs. Goff, these kids don’t even know the way to their own house!” Phew.  Was I relieved! But not for long.

“Really,” she explained.  “These kids have their iPods in their ears from day 1, and they aren’t looking where the bus is taking them.  Some of them don’t know how to get to their own house when their lesson is done.”

Holy moly! I thought.  These are the future drivers of America!  We’re going to have a whole new generation of drivers who’ll not only be tempted to text, but will NOT KNOW WHERE THE HECK THEY’RE GOING!  Will they start hesitating at green lights, wondering whether to go left or right?  Will they suddenly stop in the middle of Route 17 when they realize they’ve passed the mall?

“What should I do?” I asked the nice driving instructor lady.  “Insist she take out the earbuds  when she is the car with you, and pay attention to road signs, directions to places.  And ask questions, like, “did you just notice those kids playing over there?”  Things like that.

If you have kids learning to drive, you might have experienced what I did.  And know that you are in good company.

TTYL