It’s been a great summer, but as I mentioned in my last post these last two weeks since the end of camp have been a challenge. The fighting and tattling is driving me insane. I’m SOOOOO looking forward to the start of school tomorrow. I can’t wait to have some down time with just me and Sydney while Jay is in full day Kindergarten and Hannah’s in second grade. I can’t believe my first baby girl just turned seven this past Saturday. My step-dad was quick to remind me that before I know it I’ll be getting my newest little peanut on the bus for school. It really does feel like it goes that fast, but I swear that I’m not only going to do a happy dance tomorrow, I’m gonna do the sickest break dance a white girl with no skills can possibly do.

Hannah's first day of Kindergarten - pic 1
Hannah’s first day of Kindergarten two
years ago. She was all smiles.

Don’t Let Them See Your Tears

My heart goes out to all you mamas who are entering the new phase of parenting – sending your child off to school for the first time. Whether it’s pre-K or Kindergarten, it can be hard to watch your little baby go off on their own. It seems like just yesterday they put that sweet little newborn in your arms and you silently freaked out thinking, “Really they’re just going to let me take the baby home and (gulp) I’m on my own.” Now it’s their turn to find their courage and independence.

When Hannah got on the bus for Kindergarten two years ago she smiled at me and her little brother, gave us a little wave, and that was it. It wasn’t till we got back inside that I lost it. Jayden looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “Where’s Hannah? I want my Hannah.” I was ok until that moment and then Jay and I just hugged each other and cried together for a little while. Last year, I put my son Jayden on the bus at only three-years-old for half-day pre-K and not only was he not scared, he was dancing while waiting for the bus. That was something awesome since I was sure he was going to freak out. The bus pulled off before my smile dissolved and I broke down. I’ve learned that it’s ok if they cry, but the key is not to let them see you freak out because it makes them scared.

Hannah's first day of Kindergarten - pic 2
Proof Hannah and Jay do actually love
each other. School gives them a chance
to miss each other.

Judge Mommy Is Dismissed

As I’m writing this right now, my children are fighting over a small bouncy ball even though they are surrounded by a hundred other toys, not to mention a gorgeous sunny day and a waiting swing set. I’ve learned that there is a moment in parenting we all come to where we wish our children would just resolve their own problems peacefully. That’s all I’m waiting for, just the peace that seven hours of school will bring me.

At this point in time, my newborn is the easy one. Eat, sleep, diaper change, snuggle and repeat. It’s the older kids that are requiring more than I can provide. I forgot how hard it was to dress a Barbie doll. Between the anatomical incorrectness of big boobs, tiny waist and supremely long limbs it seems freaking impossible. I also don’t have the appropriate stamina to play with Legos for an hour. School has been such a great experience for both my kids and I’m glad that despite my year-and-a-half long battle to get my husband to consent to having a third child we waited till our other kids were in school. It means I have alone time with the new baby and time to run errands, do chores, and write without having to put on my Judge hat and enforce fairness in the house.

Jay first day of pre-k
Jay doing his first day of school happy
dance waiting for the bus to take him
to pre-K last year.

I love my children dearly, but I’m going to put them on the bus tomorrow with a huge smile on my face. I know they’ll be learning, making new friends, and finding their independence apart from each other. And as for me, I’ll be doing the boring things in life like cleaning the house, taking care of the baby, taking long walks in the neighborhood, drinking in the silence of a beautiful fall day, and even finding the breathing room to miss my kids, at least till the bus comes to drop them off.


Are you feeling anxious about sending your kids off to school or will you be joining me in a back-to-school breakdance of happiness?