My friend Marissa and I have this joke about how we’ve joined the secret society of the Un-Pinterested. She posts pictures of Pinterest crafts or cute deserts dressed up as animals or decorations and we say, “Let’s pretend we did this and just eat the cookies instead.” We also post the Pinterest fails, because let’s face it, most of our attempts at replicating a Pinterest design are bound to fail.

I never could catch on to the whole Pinterest craze and I’ll tell you why – Pinterest is no place for mothers like me. What I mean is that I joke that I cook so my family won’t starve, baking involves some sort of boxed mix, and crafting is something I did when I was ten. I personally think glitter was invented by the Devil to frustrate me. My daughter googled glitter bomb the other day and proceeded to make glitter bombs (basically glitter glued to paper plates) and did she use her craft table for just such messy nonsense? Heck NO, she used our dining table which may permanently have the Devil’s flakes embedded in it no matter how many times I try to wipe them off. Here are the top 4 reasons I’m so completely Un-Pinterested.

  1. Mom-Olympics – This is where the competitive Moms do their best work in crafting, baking, cooking, homemade Halloween costumes and party planning. I know I’m never going to medal in any of these areas and it seems foolish to even try. Is there a ton of cute stuff to look at on Pinterest? Of course. That’s why it’s the internet equivalent of a casino. You go in thinking you’re just going to try your luck on one thing and get sucked in and before you know it eight hours have passed. I also worry about the moms who really do feel the need for their efforts to be “Pinterest worthy.” It can only lead to a loss of self-esteem. I don’t look at Gabby Douglas do her gymnastic routines and think, “Yeah, I did gymnastics in high school so I can totally do that!” I try my best not to be sucked into thinking that we could all be the super Mom-Olympians of Pinterest.
  2. Food Gets Consumed – Ok, I love looking at the many cute ways you can turn a cookie, candy, and pretzel sticks into different characters for every holiday, but is anyone else nostalgic for food you simply eat? Must we spend hours assembling it to make it look cute, pretty, spooky and “ooh and ahh” worthy? I can’t see spending so much time on something my toddler will throw on the floor (cause that’s what toddlers do) and my older kids will say, “Gee, that’s cute.” mere seconds before scarfing it down. If it’s all about the effort, I think I’ll save mine for something else like surviving bedtime drama, tantrums, or eight-year-old Diva-tude. I don’t have much patience as it is, so I figure I better save what little I have for those moments I’m likely to lose it. When you count how many times you have to tell your kid not to eat something that fell on the floor, you’ll understand that perfect food simply tastes good. 
  3. Real Life Is Not Staged – I love those photos. Who wouldn’t? They look like the pages of a magazine. I don’t live in Pinterest world though. If I did, there’d be pictures of cereal on the floor, runny nose children, sweat pants and a whole lot of smiles. For those who agonize over picture days like I do, you know it takes some serious coordination to hide the crazy, but it’s the crazy that makes life worth living. I guess if Pinterest looked like my life, most people would be Un-Pinterested too.
  4. I Like To Set The Bar LOW – When it comes to things like making sure my kids do their homework, we have dinner as a family, everyone is clean, healthy and know 100 percent that they are loved, I set the bar high. On everything else, I try to set the bar LOW. Ain’t nobody got time to live a “Pinterest life” all the time? There are some great messes to be made, laughs to be had, and memories to be shared and if I set the bar that high I’d be missing out on the beautiful chaos that is my life.

I’m not saying you can’t love Pinterest. If that’s your thing, more power to you and I elect you to bring snack to school on my kid’s birthday because Lord knows I would just slap some icing on some boxed mix cupcakes and call it a day. We all need a Pinterest Mom friend. She’ll inspire us to try just a little bit harder, like maybe I’ll look up a cake recipe as long as you keep that piping bag far away from me. BUT if you’re not the crafting, baking, party planning champion Pinterest would encourage you to be, you can join my society of the Un-Pinterested and you’ll be in some damn good company.