Contrary to one popular commercial, not every kiss begins with Kay. For some of us, every kiss begins with KFC or literally ANY meal we didn’t have to cook ourselves. If you’re lucky enough to be married to a low maintenance woman, then this post is for you so that you don’t waste your time at the jewelry store this Mother’s Day. You can skip the open hearts collection and give the low maintenance mom in your life something she ACTUALLY wants.

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1. Sleep – All a tired mom wants is to sleep in. That means not waking up to the sound of children fighting, a little finger poking her or the bright closet light jarring her awake like a search light looking for an escaped convict.

If she wants to take a nap, then give the lady what she wants. Heck, if she decides she doesn’t want to leave the comfort of her bed all day, move Heaven and Earth to make that happen. The last time she REALLY slept well was probably the night her first child was conceived and that’s too freaking long ago.

2. A Meal She Didn’t Cook – Unless you absolutely suck in the kitchen, cook her a meal. It doesn’t matter if it’s breakfast or a four course meal. All us low maintenance moms care about is that we didn’t have to slave away making a meal for once and if the kids hate it, someone else can take the fall. If you can’t/don’t want to cook, you can pick up her favorite take out or take her to the low maintenance dinning establishment of her choice.

But seriously, think again if you want to surprise her with breakfast in bed, because #1 (see above) we’d rather you just let us sleep and #2 we really don’t want to clean the sheets of crumbs later. If you really want to melt our hearts, have a full pot of coffee brewed for whenever we do decide to drag ourselves out of bed.

3. Give Her A Day Off – That means no childcare responsibilities whatsoever. But it’s Mother’s Day you say? EXACTLY. She works her tail off EVERY OTHER DAY of the year.

This should be the one day that it’s all on you; from making sure they brush their teeth in the morning all the way to tucking them in at night, no exceptions just because you think she does something better. Take them to the park, the zoo, the movies whatever you gotta do. Just give her one day all to herself.

4. Tell Her You Appreciate Her – You don’t need to buy a Hallmark card, though you can if you want, but all she really wants is to hear that you get that it sucks to have her job sometimes. It’s freaking exhausting, thankless work that NEVER ends.

Sometimes the only thing that gets her through the day is the thought that maybe, just maybe, her family appreciates all the work she does even though she might not hear it said out loud for days, weeks, or even months.

5. Tell Her She’s Beautiful – Yeah I know she only rocks three different hairstyles – the ponytail, down or the messy bun and has a collection of well-worn yoga pants and T-Shirts, but she still needs to hear how beautiful she is.

In her pre-children years, she might have put on makeup and perhaps a dress every now and again, but these days her priorities are different. Who really needs to wear eyeliner or worry about manicured nails when there’s a good chance you’re going to be scrubbing your hands surgeon-style of human feces or vomit at some point during the day?

6. Make Her Buy Something For Herself – There’s a good chance her bra drawer still contains nursing bras from her first baby or she hasn’t had a good haircut in more months than she can recall. Whenever a need comes up, she’s quick to fill it EXCEPT if it’s hers.

She needs some prodding. Even if she hates shopping like I do, throw some cash in her hands and tell her not to leave the mall without something she needs or wants. This saves you from buying her something she really doesn’t need and no she doesn’t need lingerie. That’s a gift for you and that’s probably how she got these kids to begin with.

So there you have it husbands and baby daddies of the world. Forget the expensive gifts or fancy dinners (though we sure could go for some Olive Garden) and give the low-maintenance mom in your life the things she really wants from you. We got your back on Father’s Day.

Erin Johnson a.k.a. The No Drama Mama can be found writing on her blog The No Drama Mama and Hudson Valley Parent when she’s not wiping poop or snot off her three adorable kiddos. This “tell it like it is” mama has NO time for drama, so forget your perfect parenting techniques and follow her on Facebook or Twitter for her delightfully imperfect parenting wins and fails. Her work can also be found on The Huffington Post, Money Saving Mom, Mamapedia and Worshipful Living.

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